There's just so much going on. So much is changing.
I feel like I'm losing things I'll never be able to get back.
It's all going by so quickly, and I can't stop it!
I'm holding onto things, feelings, people, as hard as I can, yet it seems that the tighter I try to hold them and keep them safe, the more quickly they slip between my fingers.
And I'm left clutching my sorrow and jumbled emotions to my heart.
It's so painful.
But I know that if I lose even the sorrow and tumult within me now, there won't be anything left.
I'll have nothing.
So I'll hold onto the past just long enough to get myself anchored in the future.
And then I'll start walking again, turning now and then to watch past events drift away like scattered balloons in the sky. Those last glimpses will hurt, as I reach vainly for the strings I once held and grasp nothing but cold, empty air.
I do believe, though, that somewhere I have a cloud of memories, like a lost bundle of balloons, that I am only able to find when I desperately need to.
When, in the business that the future holds, I stumble and fall, God will, with His gentle power, reach down and hand me one of those strings I lost so long ago.
And I'll be able to hold on just long enough to be pulled to my feet.
Before it floats away forever.
Finally, this time I'll learn that I'm not the one who makes the wind carry it away.
And I won't look back.